Have you ever thought that a St Andrews cross would be horny? I did, and then I saw one for sale for several hundred pounds in a London fetish shop. I was shocked and apalled (no, really!).

(If this bit bores you, skip straight to the kinky sex part)

So, I don't need fancy padding. Or black paint - though I could add that later. The pictures below show the last bit of construction. All in all, I spent around £35 - though I already had restraints.

	First, cut your tree. In fact, I used a pack of 48mm square section 2.1m long timber from B&Q. At regular intervals along the length there are holes drilled through, and either ordinary bolts or 6inch eye bolts, which pass through and fix two pieces of timber together.
As you can see here, the end of one piece of timber on each side has been cut, at an angle of around 55 degrees, so it'll rest on the floor. You might need a friend to help you mark the best places for the eye bolts, which will be used to fix victims to. And do remember to be careful with power tools!
	Here's the finished cross, for the time being. As you can see, the eye bolts at the top alternate, which seemed like a good idea to me. The two cross pieces bolt together in the centre, and the one at the front has a recess cut out (well, bashed out with a chisel, if you want me to be accurate) to about half its depth, so that it doesn't stick out too much from the rear strut. You could make a similar recess in the rear one, so that the whole thing is flat, but that might weaken the structure. The two centre bolts pass through, and then a small piece of wood at the rear slips over the top and is fixed with wing nuts, so you can take the whole thing apart very easily when Mother comes to stay.
And here it is again, with the addition of some restraints, padlocked or clipped to the eye bolts. I've not got all the restraints I want so far, hence the chains you can see for the upper arms. At the bottom, hidden behind the cross, are two chains fixed to hooks in the skirting board, which are there to ensure that it can't slip on the floor when it's being used.

So now you've seen some of how it was made, you'll probably want to see it in use. Warning - the next page contains images that regular gym users may find disturbing!

And please remember...

I made this for my own fun, and I've given some hints here on how I did it. But I'm not responsible for the quality of your carpentry, or the consequences if you try to make your own cross and there's a horrible, grisly accident afterwards. Or even just a particularly irksome splinter.

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